Travellers in time
by Bluebell Had To Go
Summary: She took Sam hostage, got killed by the guv. But Sam still dreams about her. Who was she, really ?
1. Chapter 1

Title : Travellers in time

Notes : My first Life on Mars fic :)

* * *

01

"Boss ? She's dead, boss", says a muffled voice. "Let her go now."

Someone snaps his fingers in front of him, jerks his shoulder.

"Oi, Tyler !", calls another distant voice. "Let us know when you'll fancy moving your arse off the crime scene, eh ?"

He can hear them talk around him, but they are all far, so far away. He tries to move but his body is paralyzed, as if time had frozen right before the next second and refused to go any further. Lost and bewildered in another world, he catches glimpses of what must have been the girl's deluded dream. She brought him there with her, in her own mind - he sees flashes, lights, smiles for the journos, more flashes, and he watches himself standing besides her, holding her hand. Somewhere in the future, he could tell, but none of it makes any sense. He closes his eyes, tries to get back to reality.

The lights flicker, and Sam's back in 1973.

"Are you ok, boss ? C'mon, put yourself together."

They're on the police station, and half CID is here busy looking at them.

The woman lies on her back, her head to the side, blue eyes wide open staring at him. Sam's on his knees, holding her wrist in his hand. She clings to life, but maybe not enough, and her pulse weakens slowly.

A familiar face. Chris. He offers Sam a hand to help him stand up, but someone else grabs him under the arms and puts him roughly on his feet. The girl's hand falls on the floor with a muted sound.

Blood. Sam only notices it now, and he feels dizzy and disconnected again.

Blood on his own hands, on the girl's body, on the floor, everywhere.

She's a young and pretty woman, with long blond hair, white dress and flats, a gun in her open hand.

She's been shot twice in the chest.

"Lucky bastard you are, Sammy boy. Next time you're about to piss off another loopy bird, make sure she doesn't hide a bloody shooter in her handbag, will ya ?"

Sam still navigates between dreams and reality, and he squints at Gene as he pushes the gun away from her with his boot.

"She's dead. Looks like Gene Genie saved you _again._"

She's not dead, Sam tries to say, but he only manages to utter unintelligible sounds as the words collide in his brain. _She's not dead, she's still breathing, she needs an ambulance, she needs CPR, someone call a doctor please_

"Where is she ?"

Sam recognizes a voice as someone passes him by, but he looks toward the ground and thus can't see the man's face, only a pair of red plimsolls that look oddly familiar.

The lights flicker again.

Someone hauls him outside, and the doors of the Lost & Found room close behind him.

* * *

"Who was she, Sam ?"

They're in the empty canteen, Annie sitting in front of him. There is something in her voice, a subtle resentment, and Sam doesn't understand. He could've been killed, yet she doesn't seem to realize it.

"I don't know, Annie. Chris is going through the records to see if we've anything on her."

He doubts it though. The woman looked like she was from a different time, just like him. Something he'd rather not tell Annie anyway.

"She _knew_ you. And she said she was..."

She pauses, looks Sam in the eye. What's she on about ? He cannot remember what the girl said, and Annie looks peeved again.

"Annie, what ?"

"She said she was your bloody wife, for God's sake ! "

"Did she... ? Anyway, she seemed a bit deluded, don't you think ?"

Indeed she was, and Annie sighs.

"So what d'you reckon, Sam ? She woke up this morning, decided to walk into CID to take any officer hostage ?"

"Why not ?"

"Bit of bad luck for you, intit ?"

It's the least she could say, he thinks, but he doesn't want to anger her more than she already is.

"And what did she say to you, when you were alone with her ?"

That's when things start to become a bit unreal. He's spent two hours locked in the Lost & Found room with this woman - well, so they say, because Sam can't honestly remember. That was only this morning, three hours ago, and every moment has already turned into a blurry mess in his mind. What did she want ? What did he say to her ? Did he talk to her, did he reason with her and try to understand what she wanted ? He must have done all that, but he doesn't remember,as if something inside him didn't want to.

But he really can't say that to Annie. Against all odds, so far she doesn't see him as a total nutcase, and he'd like to keep things that way.

"What was her name again ?", asks Sam, in a pitiful attempt to elude the question, and Annie rolls her eyes.

"Lucy", she says. "Lucy Saxon. Does it ring a bell ?"

"My faithful companion", whispers Sam to himself.

Annie quizzically stares at him, puzzled.

"Wh... What did you say ?"

"I don't know. It just came like that, like..."

Like someone else was talking. But what could he say ? The whole conversation irritates Annie, and she just leaves him there, pretending she has urgent work to do.

* * *

Back home and lying in his bed, Sam tries to recall the events of the day. The more he tries, the more his memory faults him.

Back to the start, this morning : Phyllis said she had a witness for him, waiting in the interview room. She specified the woman showed her 'an unusual photograph of him'.

"What d'you mean, 'unusual' ?", he asked, hoping Phyllis wasn't talking about Joni style photos.

"You don't look like yourself in it. All posh and classy, wasn't sure t'was you."

Nice.

So the woman was waiting in the Lost & Food room. She looked so harmless - who could've guessed this young woman in her white dress was hiding a gun in her handbag ?

So he hadn't had the time to say hello that already she was next to him, pointing the shooter to his head.

What was she trying to do, holding a DI hostage in a crowded police station ?

Did he know her from another case ?

Was it personal, really ?

Or was she just mad ?

Sam doesn't have the answer to any of these questions. He knows he was alone with her these two hours in the interview room.

And after that - nothing until at some point, she opened the door, went out, and Gene shot her twice.

But there had been this strange noise, outside, just before she left the room. She had looked panicked, he didn't forget that, …

He stares at the ceiling and wonders what's he gonna tell the guv tomorrow.

"Are you ok, Harry ?", asks a voice behind him.

Sam screams and jumps off the bed.

At first, he mistakes her for the Test Card Girl, that bloody little brat that enjoys haunting his bedroom or his mind now and then.

He blinks and looks again. It's not the girl, and for the first time, he wishes it were.

Because it's Lucy, standing in front of him, impersonating the Test Card Girl with the red dress, the know it all smile, and Bubbles the Clown in her hand to complete the performance.

_A nightmare. It must be a friggin nightmare._

These days his subconscious conceals the freakiest things.

"You're only in my head", Sam says, closing his eyes and opening them again, in the hope she will have disappeared. "You're not here. You don't even exist."

She's coming closer, and he backs away, till he finds himself against the wall.

"In my head", he tries to convince himself. "You're only in my head..."

She slaps him in the face, and that feels much too real to be one of his usual hallucinations.

"Don't be so conceited", says Test Card Lucy. "People are not only in your head. Do you know how far I've travelled to find you again ? I think it deserves a bit of consideration, Harry."

"My name is Sam Tyler. Don't you confuse me with someone else ?"

"Sam Tyler", she repeats, and she laughs with disdain. "_Who _gave you that name ?"

"What ?"

"Well, I knew you wouldn't recognize me anyway, but this is a bit disappointing. I'm Lucy, by the way."

"Yeah, I know that. But you're dead. Got killed this morning and I was there."

"Dead ?", and she laughs again. "You're deranged, my love."

"You're not the first to tell..."

Test Card Lucy looks around her, as if analyzing every detail from his apartment.

"Nice place you have. Where is it ?", she asks as she starts to rummage through his stuff.

"What're you doing ?"

"Where do you hide it ?"

"Where do I hide _what_ ?"

She looks at him as if the answer were obvious. Sam doesn't move and let her search whatever she's looking for. How do you stop a dream - or a nightmare, anyway ? He closes his eyes, knowing she'll go away in the end. All he has to do is pretend she's not here, and eventually she'll leave him alone.

"I'll find it later", she says as she finally gives up. "You'll see me again."

She's gone when Sam opens his eyes.

She's left Bubbles on the floor and he refuses to disappear.

The raggedy clown stays there, nagging him.

* * *

First thing Sam notices next morning : there's a note on his desk.

"_Sorry about what happened. Should've come earlier. Take care, Sam."_

"Who left this ?", he asks the entire room.

Nobody answers.

Gene shouts his name from inside his office, and he doesn't seem very pleased.


	2. Chapter 2

02

Gene slams his fist against the desk, and a mini earthquake shakes his office, Sam included.

"How can you _not _bloody remember, Tyler ?"

"Honestly, I don't know, Guv. I... simply don't know."

"You what ?"

But that's all Sam has to say, because he can't explain what is going on in his mind. What happened yesterday morning already feels like the faded memory of an old movie seen years ago - black and white frames, as if he were outside the scene, watching the events from an external and detached point of view.

Moreover, there's the conclusion he came to, lying in his bed last night : he wasn't in that room with Lucy. He couldn't possibly have been. The minute he saw her face, someone else took his place. She insisted on referring to him as 'Harry', so maybe...

_Maybe what ?_ That's enough with the crazy theories. He needs to stop right there, before going any further on that slippery lane.

And Sam needs to change the subject, even though he knows it will come back, rather sooner than later. He knows the Guv, that he won't let him get away without a realistic explanation for his sudden memory loss.

"So what happened, outside ?", asks Sam.

"Hasn't Miss Crumpet told you already ?"

"She won't talk to me."

Annie ignored him this morning, presumably because she thinks Sam knows a lot much than he tells her. Which is utterly wrong, but she refuses to listen.

"Mind you, she wasn't too chuffed when we heard 'bout your secret wife, Sammy boy."

"I don't have a secret wi...", sighs Sam, but it's no use. "How did you make her go out ?"

"I didn't. I tried to speak to her through the door, no answer. There came some poncy Hyde bloke, said he wanted to have a chat with your lass. I tell you what, he was rubbish. What can you expect from a copper from Hyde, eh ?"

"Not much", mumbles Sam ironically.

"Then an hour later, she decided she had 'nough of the babbling. Went out with the shooter. I shot first, end of the story."

"And who was this copper from Hyde ?"

"DI John Smith. Said you and him were best mates at the academy an'all."

"I don't know any DI Smith", frowns Sam. "Who called him ?"

"No one. He popped by for the party and disappeared before the ambulance arrived. And I was hoping you could enlighten me 'bout this mate of yours, Tyler, 'cause it turns out there's no DI Smith in Hyde at all !"

Best mates at the academy ? Sam has no idea who he could be, and the name doesn't help. There was that voice, though. He's sure he recognized a familiar voice as he left the Lost & Found room.

Sometimes, Sam feels like there's whole parts of his memory that are gone. Maybe he had known that DI Smith after all, and the amnesia is much larger than he thought.

"I'll find him", says Sam, even though he has no idea how and where to begin.

"Great. While you're at it, why don't you go to the hospital and ask your missus what was that all about ?"

"She's alive ?"

"Seems so. Now off you go, and pronto !"

* * *

Someone passes Sam by as he walks down the hospital's corridor. He instantly recognizes him, and not only because the man matches the description Chris gave him perfectly : _tall scrawny bloke with big hair and specs, striped brown suit and red sneakers. _

Sam knows that face, and he confusedly understands that some deep and old bond relies him to this man. Like Lucy, maybe like himself, Sam can tell the man belongs to a different time. Or maybe to no time at all. It's the strangest feeling, really.

"Doctor ?"

Now, why is he calling him _Doctor ? _Once again, someone else speaks through Sam.

But the man turns around, looks him in the eye.

"Do I know you ?"

But there's something in his eyes that reveals he recognizes Sam, and the question is just a vain attempt to deny it. And now Sam is absolutely sure, with no further evidence needed, that he's the man he's looking for.

"You're John Smith, right ? DI John Smith ?".

"I'm more of a doctor, actually", says the man with a smile. "And you are... ?"

"You're not a doctor", says Sam. "You were at the station yesterday. You talked to my DCI, said you knew me. And you talked to the girl, Lucy..."

"Ah, Lucy. I'm terribly sorry, but you're too late. She's died. I'm really sorry."

Sam knows he shouldn't feel sad for a woman who threatened to kill him, but really, as odd as it may be, he can't help it. It's like Lucy's always had a special little place inside him, amongst the shambles that his feelings are in - and now that she's gone, this little spot in his heart feels empty and cold.

Considering he wasn't supposed to know her at all, this is completely mad.

"So you knew her ? Lucy ?"

"I'm just a doctor", the man says. He tries to walk away, but Sam grabs him by the arm.

"No you're not. Why don't you tell me the truth ?"

The man sighs, searches through his coat's pockets, and shows him a card.

"Look. It says I'm a doctor, right ? Now if you could let go off me..."

"It's just a blank paper", says Sam, squinting at the card. "There's nothing on it."

"Well... Maybe. Doesn't work on you, does it ?"

"And maybe you were at the station yesterday."

"Alright, Sam. I was there. But all of it shouldn't have happened. I shouldn't even be here. But I was just trying to put things straight before... Y'know."

"Not really", says Sam, puzzled. "You're the one who's left the note on my desk, aren't you ?"

The man shrugs, and Sam takes that as a yes.

"So you know me, right ?"

"Maybe. I should really go now..."

"But how do I know you... Doctor ?"

"It's a long story. But well, it's over, and you shouldn't worry too much about it, right ?"

"It's not over. But.. Wait !"

The man runs off, and Sam follows. He chases him through the corridor, down the stairs, and at this precise moment, he knows he's already done that before. Running after this man brings forth an odd feeling of déjà vu.

As he runs outside the hospital, the man has vanished, but Sam is not really surprised. He wasn't expecting to catch him and have all his questions answered.

* * *

"Oh God no", sighs Sam as he enters his flat. "Not you again."

Lucy sits on the bed, her long hair disheveled, looking tired in her red Test Card girl dress. The room is an impossible mess, as if particularly thick burglars had ransacked the place in the hope of finding any valuable objects here.

But Lucy was indeed looking for something, the first time he saw her. Didn't say what it was though.

How could an hallucination actually have motives, anyway ? How could she want anything ? Sam has to remember himself she's not real, she's only in his head.

But maybe it's his own subconscious, trying to tell him something important. Maybe he should listen to himself.

Or maybe not.

"Where is it, Harry ?" she asks, raising her head.

"Would you stop calling me Harry ?"

What's wrong with his bloody subconscious ? Why does it insist on forgetting his own name ?

"Where is it, _Sam _? It's not here, so where did you hide it? You know what I'm talking about. "

"No, actually, I don't."

She seems to hesitate, then she slowly walks to him, tilts her head to whisper on his ear. He's not afraid of her, Sam realises. He wouldn't let the Test Card girl this near him, let alone touch him. But it's different with Lucy, and when she comes near, her perfume reminds him of moments he could never possibly have lived, of her eyes closed, her soft lips and her tender arms around him.

The images disappear, chased away by real memories : Lucy shot, Lucy lying in an hospital bed - and above all, he knows he's seen her dead this afternoon.

If this was real, because at times he can't tell the difference between reality and his dreams.

And it doesn't get better.

"The watch", she says. "They want the watch."

"What wa..."

But her words have a particular resonance, and though he still doesn't know what she wants, the fact that she mentioned a watch means something to him.

A watch.

_What about it then ?_

"I don't know where it is", he hears himself saying. "Even if I did, why would I tell you ?"

"Because I'm your wife", says Lucy. "You used to love me. Or I thought you did, I don't know..."

She leans to kiss him on the cheek.

"Tell me you remember me."

"I don't."

"You do", she insists. "Sometimes you see me in your dreams. I know you do."

It's all blurred in his mind, incoherent images from a distant past or future. But he can't deny it. He knows Lucy. She means something to him.

He tends to forget it these days, but this version of her only exists in his mind.

As does the girl - the Test Card girl. Is it what Lucy means, when she says he sees her in his dreams ?

"You're her, aren't you ?" asks Sam. "That little brat that pretends to know everything about me ?"

"Dark Lucy", she says with a cold smile. "As there is a darker you, somewhere inside", she whispers, tapping his head.

"So you're saying you're the nice one ?"

"Help me find the watch, and you'll go home, Sam, I promise."

"Why would I trust you ?"

Something tells him he shouldn't, really. Something tells him her and 'Dark Lucy' are the same person, whatever she says about it. She's not nice, and she's not his friend.

"So it's not here", Lucy says. "I think you entrusted it to someone else's care. And who could that be... ?"

It would be Annie, thinks Sam, because he trusts her with so many things. But it's purely hypothetical, because he never gave the watch Lucy looks for to anyone, supposing it really exists.

"Go away", whispers Sam, tired to speak to his hallucination.

She winks, and so she does.


End file.
